Saturday, November 21, 2009
Tomorrow's going for the Swissotel Vertical Marathon(:
Went to collect the race pack today.
The bag was -.-, the stuff inside, quite funny(:
Tomorrow have to wake up early...
so I'm gonna sleep early, well at least on my clock.
muhahaha!
Hope everything will turn out to be fun!!
MY FIRST MARATHON!
hahaha, fingers crossed.
I'm gonna sleep already.
nights earthlings.
(:
HOLIDAYS HERE^^
You bring out the devil in me.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Even if I don't stay with you forever, it wouldn't stop us from having happiness now right?:)cause you know I'll be by your side, for now(:
Wanting to carry on our relationship is your choice, but I don't care whether you'll hurt me in the future.
But now, if you do, I'll have nothing to say,
cause I can sense that we've been on the rocks for quite some time:( and it ONLY JUST started to change for the better...
I promise,
I'll pick myself up even with you really hurt me.
I'll never let you see my sad face.
I'll try my best not to cry for you.
I'll not feel uneasy nor insecure because I promise to thrash things out instead of keeping it to myself.
I'll try my best not to break down, as long as you're by my side.
But it's impossible to ask me to not worry about you because it's the same as asking you not to worrying about me...
The truth is,
I KNOW I'M HAPPY WITH YOU, THAT'S ALL I KNOW, AND THAT'S ALL I CARE.
Me too, want all the doubts and suspicion to disappear, but it takes 2 hands to clap.
But I wouldn't force you to stay with me.
Because I also want you to have a better life with/without me.
Because I also want you to have a happy life and smile with no worries.
The one thing I cannot promise you is to go back to the old me.
But I promise you this,
once all this silly things are over, you'll see a brand new me, a me happier than the past.
Because I know what we have now SHOULD be stronger and more lasting.
WHEN WILL ALL THE DOUBTS AND QUESTIONS GO AWAY?
I just wanna be a normal couple with you:'(
Because of this, my heart's bleeding...
You bring out the devil in me.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Slacking all the way:)
but training's starting:P
haha, half elated half sad:P
Monday was outing with Baby Ting♥
Our initial plan was to watch Paranormal Activity, but then we realised it wasn't screened yet, so we watched MJ's This Is It!
:)
And then I realised, MJ's a music genius and talent!
He sang songs like no other! ADMIRATION!
This week's full of outings(:
Tuesday was to Pam's house!
Mates include Wei Wei♥, Ray Ray, GiGi and Su Hui!
haha, we played our small and pathetic pool games, taking turns to V.S. each other.
And I notice, we really have lousy hands!
weird!:P
Watched MY BLOODY VALENTINE too!
3D didn't work that well, but 2D was fine, except I couldn't see my beloved Jensen Ackles in 3D:(
haha, but all was fine!
and one more thing,
I scared Raymond~~I scared Raymond~~!
Next was Wednesday,
Class outing at ECP.
Actually, the clique didn't have much difference from the Tuesday group!
haha!
Additional mates are Yun Hui and Kenneth!:)
We rented our bicycles from a black shop which scammed our money:(
It was much more expensive to rent a smaller bike!-.-
Damn! so I had to stick with the fucking bike that made my ass hurt like hell!DAMN!
Couldn't sit properly for like 2 days!
I felt like burning down the shop:(
NEVERTHELESS, I FINALLY LEARNT HOW TO CYCLE!OMG!
This is good news!(:
But I still have to steady it!:P
Fingers crossed!
Thursday was lessons.
Friday was disastrous!
Saturday tonight was okay!
Morning had my baby over to accompany me sleep ( It doesn't make sense when I put it that way):P...
Afternoon went Lot 1 with my grandma and I had SAKAE!
muhahaha, ate till I literally felt like puking!OMG!
(:
Awaiting for Sunday and I'm going Tampines in the morning to visit Aunty Fatimah:)
haha!
bye peeps!
Gonna introduce some new songs to you.(:
_____________________________________________________________
I just realised I don't have any power over your "sorry(s)"...:)
I love you darling.
You bring out the devil in me.
Friday, November 13, 2009
So sian.
Every thing is boring.
Today was suppose to be a good day, special day, a happy one.
But now, SIAN-NESS-.-
I'm feeling so fucked up, for some reasons.
Maybe this is the result of having high hopes, but wasn't fulfilled and then you fall hard to the ground.
Messed up man.
I thought we could go out, and really have fun, really spend time together.
But you don't understand even the basic of me, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHETHER YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO GO OUT ANOT!
All I wanna do was to spend time with you and hang out, have fun.
But you made it seemed like without money, you're never having fun.
I've never seen you smile so cheerfully when we were walking at JP, and I know, it was because you had money.
And now, because you don't, you're never gonna smile like that.
I thought I didn't really care so much, I thought it's just another date, a normal can-or-cannot-do with date.
I was wrong.
For so many months, all we do is just hanging out in our houses.
NOTHING ELSE.
FUCKING bullshit man.
The problem between us isn't love, is money.
All you do is talk about money.
When you have it, your mood just shoots up.
When you don't have it, you sigh, you complain, your high spirits disappear into thin air.
These things shows me that I'm not the thing that makes you happy or sad, I thought too highly of myself.
Money is the thing that affects you the most, it lifts your spirit like I never did.
When you have money, you always happier.
But hell, so what if we don't have it, we can't go out? we can't do shit?
Fuck it man seriously, for the thousand and one time, I'm no where near your priorities.
Simply talking don't mean anything.
Even money comes before me.
I know I've said this time and time again, it's because I gave you chances over and over again.
But I'm exhausted.
I'm done having my hopes high and then fall hard to the ground.
I'm done hearing you say this and that but actually it all meant nothing.
I don't have the strength to bother whether I'm first or last in your heart.
I'm gonna just let it be, time will tell.
You bring out the devil in me.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Speak Up - Kristinia DeBargeSpeak up, your silence is killing me
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me?
Cuz I can never tell
I'll be the first to admit it
Been silent for a minute
Thinking like damn is he feeling me
We fell in love took a second
But now I'm always checking
Cuz I never hear you say what you really think
Some days I feel it then I feel it's over
Some days were harder then some days were colder
When you open up, our love is alive
But now you're quiet and I'm dying inside
So baby speak up
Cuz your silence is killing me
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Just let your heart say what you can't say (speak up)
Let your heart say what you won't say (speak up)
Don't let the silence tear us away
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
If you don't speak up
I don't know where you've been
But nothing's making sense, I'm standing on this fence for you
And even when you're here, somehow you disappear
If I can read your mind, I'd know just what to do
Some days I feel it then I feel it's over
Some days were harder then some days were colder
When you open up, our love is alive
And now you're quiet and I'm dying inside
So baby speak up
Cuz your silence is killing me
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Just let your heart say what you can't say (speak up)
Let your heart say what you won't say (speak up)
Don't let the silence tear us away
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Speak up
I'll be out the door before the sun comes up
Boy catch me if you can while I'm pumping that clutch
(Try) Try to be the one, (I) gave it all I got
(I'm) Giving you your last chance (if you don't speak up)
Say all the words that you never said, oh
Write all the letters that I never read, oh
Show me your words or the love is dead
Just want to hear it from you
First to admit it, been silent for a minute
Thinking like damn is he feeling me
We fell in love, took a second
But you about to wreck it,
Cuz I never hear you say what you really mean
Baby speak up, cuz your silence is killing me
(your silence is killin' me)
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Just let your heart say what you can't say (speak up)
Let your heart say what you won't say (speak up)
Don't let the silence tear us away
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Speak up
If you don't speak up
Open up your mouth cuz baby I'm listenin'
You bring out the devil in me.
Monday, November 02, 2009
:(
Boyfriend's super busy with his stuff.
I don't want to disturb him cause I know he's occupied.
But...
I miss him:(
So much!!:(
Specially these few days when I end school super early:(
But my baby's busy with events!
Hope it ends soon!
I don't want to disturb you, but I'm missing you:)
You bring out the devil in me.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Question:
_____________________
Love
Is love a one-way street?
suppose to be):
One always have to love more than the other:)
there's no such things as equal.
Is love painful?
Hurts like hell.
Is love compromising?
It is more than compromising. It's tolerating...
Is love describable?
No, not really.
Is love invincible?
kinda, I think.
___________________
Boyfriend
Do you think of your boyfriend every second of your life?
DUH.
Do you think he thinks of you every second of his life?
Don't think so.
He has other stuff to worry about.
Do you think he understands you?
Trying to..haha
Do you think you understand him?
Fairly(:
Do you introduce him to all your friends and family?
Yea:)
Does he introduce you to all his friends and family?
No)':
I wonder why...
Is he eager to take you back to his family?
Nope, not at all...
Does he shows you off to his friends?
Nope, not at all either..
Are you eager to take him back to your family?
I got quite excited about it though..in the past.(:
Do you show him off to your friends?
He wouldn't know if I did.
But I guarantee he wouldn't...
typical-.-
_____________________
Scenarios
Do you go out shopping and reached home to realise you brought more stuff for him than you?
I get that kind of moments(:
haha...
Do you shop with him ONLY on your mind?
yea(:
Do you consider every aspect of his usage before you buy stuff for him?
DUH-.-
How to I buy without imagining him using it!-.-
drats.
Do you always consider him before buying things for yourself? always?
I think so.
maybe 95% of the time.
Except real urgent stuff(:
hahahaha...
Do you think he does all the above for you?
Nope, not really):
_________________________
Results:
More communication is needed for the relationship to take a step forward.-.-
_________________________
what do I think?
I think my darling needs to break on his ego and I need to break down my sensitiveness-.-
hahaha.
Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!!
Even so,
I feel like I'm just a small part of his life, totally not mixable with other parts.
Out-of-place, no where that I belong too.
I feel so small...
I'm not in his life, I'm just a additional part of it.
Not with his friends, not with his family, not with his everything.
One-way street huh?
This is pure cruelty.
You bring out the devil in me.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Don't worry about anything.I'm here with you.I'll be right here with you(:Fuck the problems and obstacles.
We can put through it, right?(:
You bring out the devil in me.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I'm in school:)
waiting for the time to pass and training to start.
damn, so many things to do today-.-
Hate it:(
OP is shit-.-
today had a start of the math lecture which I didn't pay much attention to:P
then had students' forum which Misato didn't have the chance to say the most important point of all.
"Teachers should set good example by speaking good and proper English!"
:) Brilliant point, didn't anyone notice?-.-
____________________________________________________________________
This is weird.
I think I'm beginning to love him more and more:)
that's why I'm beginning to fear more and more that we'll have problems.
All the confusion, all the mood swings, all because I'm beginning to love him more and more:)
Mixed feelings though.
Glad that I know the reason why.
Pissed that I'm more afraid than ever.
No matter what, my feelings are clear as water.
I want to give happiness to baby:)
Even if it means giving up mine. I don't give a heck, as long as baby is happy:)
I don't say this often but yea, I'm going more stable.
I have no doubts at all:)
All because baby made me realise how afraid I am to lose him...
I love you my baby, all ways and always.
Cross my heart:)
You bring out the devil in me.
hmm, today was the day of WR submission, finally, a portion of the heavy load was cleared.
now, yea, quite happy:)
so went KBox today with wei cong, brother and baby:)
haha, wasn't quite as I expected. I don't know what's wrong with me:)
think I'm gonna stick with singing songs with yvonne and my darlings..haha.
I guess I thought it was not as fun):
but nevertheless, I got a break from PW after WR:)
hahaha!
Made bento, a very simple and -.-' one, for baby!
haha, first time in my life, hope he liked it.
But I don't know why, maybe because of the conversation that we had, he didn't seem as happy as before.
:(
And I really don't know what to do?
Should I set him free?
Am I holding him back from more happiness?
I know he's not really happy.
He knows he's not really happy.
But, will I ever have the strength to let go?...
:'(
Darling, tell me what can I do to make you happier?
Sometimes I feel as if you take me for granted, like everything I do for you is a matter-of-fact thing.
I don't know, maybe I really think too much.
Troubles.
Worries.
Fear.
Pain.
Heartaches.
Burden.
Sin.
When will they ever stop?
I know you are the answer to everything I have.
But apparently, I'm not yours.
You bring out the devil in me.
